Saturday, August 30, 2008

A shoddy image

A shoddy image,
The weight of isolation and some wishes.
Don’t look around,
You won’t find the shadow.


Her photograph; I scanned and it latched an overwhelming part of my present. May be it wanted back all she could have had, or may be it wanted to suggest that I can start all over again by taking a look around…may be because, it displays the life. This was a shoddy image with all the imitations on life and I (most of the time) couldn’t see what’s right in front of me. Her face!

Yesterday night, I was trying to keep a balance on myself. I measured my tummy. It’s fat. I rather gently pressed my wrist (I am recovering from weakness – a sort of illness). My pulse beats fast. It’s bad. Pretty bad! My first presumption was: I am crazy, a rather rude fellow; who knows nothing more than the self. All the deficiencies and her face, my pillow and how she would hold my hand...that was also a part of that shoddy image. Damn it. This maniac brain has to stop thinking. Or else, I will have to cover myself with all her images…pretty and beautiful, all.

Against the wall, there is a calendar. I wondered what could each day say, or rather the anniversary! I do sure understand all the markings in the diary and each memoirs have all the glimpses. But none of us prepared. Both of us risked too much for comfort and I feel a little surreal to live in this emptiness called life. I took the plunge and the mistake was all evident in the photograph. It has become a ritual.


Yesterday night, I was a specimen
And the images of gifts and limbs,
They all scattered.
But, it was dark
And each moment were long
And my mask floats in the sky.
I wanted to sleep,
But the shoddy image
Caught the glimpses shrouded in the cacophony of loneliness.

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