Lately/Recently

Recently, I got to know what certain ‘words’ really mean. I still pick up words, here and there and make them my own. Some words that I got to used never really meant what I actually wanted to mean. There are words, so imprudently seem to mean another word from another circle. At times, I used certain, very particular words only for the sake of it because, I don’t have any other word other than except (that) to help me exclaim when I feel like (that). In fact, I am devoid of words, I am poor without words. Wanted to say something and they mean something else!
================================================
Lately, I came to realize I am still alive and yearning to live.
A brief dialogue between self and shadow - whether for the confirmation of a reconciled life or the mere projection of a life preoccupied with wishes and responsibilities - bring out this transfiguration in me. More often, these dialogues proved more discordant than respectable. These dialogues ensnare me into life.