Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Distgusting!

Stars are there,

I am here;

They shown bright

And I hide in the shadow.

While in the dark,

I dreamed about moonlit beaches;

While in the shadow,

I wonder about glowing shades of life.

Are you still Alive?

One good way to know if you are still alive is to see if you are still enamored by the person you love.

I tried! Seems to work. So this piece too.

Chances are that you will find yourself doing odd favors to prove that you are still loved and alive. But more often than not, it proves wrong. To derive a meaning and conjuring fancied images of living with love and affections seems ludicrous. But we all need it. So I assume, it’s one better way to know if you are still alive or death, than measuring the heat of funeral pyre.
Sometimes, it is good to rub salt in the wound.
This is not for you, Pasot!

Monday, March 12, 2007

Are you lonesome?

Pasot,

I have so many questions and complaints for you. It will take thousand years for me to pose them. Isn’t it interesting that we have got only a lifetime with so many strokes to be completed!

Anyway, let me start by asking: Are you lonesome? I am asking it because, I feel lonely. It seems I have nobody here. Are you comfortable counting yourself as one of them in that alien place, far away from home? I know…man evolve and migrate…but why do we need to leave behind those we love. Yes, if the answer is that oft quoted phrase “life goes on”, then my Dear, you are one of them, you are no different. You will be one of them. But I wasn’t and not. I am the only one, may be for you too!
We should move on. But along with those whom we love.

So, move into a new environ! New weather, new tradition, saying Good Morning in a new way and waking up with a new Sun and may be with a new promise. I love you being molded to adapt so comfortably and know you love doing them. But, in between, did you ever remember me? Strange questions, strange proportion, I guess! For both of us. You must be busy!

I was trying to untie something. I succumb to the knot. And you are still in my mind, every second, counting every step of mine and asking “Are you lonesome?”

Let me live so that I can ask many more questions. You will be happy for me…thinking ‘this guy is still asking me questions, even though I have left you!’

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Did I ever hurt you?

Pasot,

I apologize to you for all those sad words.

After seeing your reply, I had a delightful time. The very next moment, I was back to my usual self…asking for more…Anyway…How are you doing…alone!

As I was about to sleep, a sudden rupture of silence disturbs me. It was calm and deafening. I feared if it will last forever.
Somebody calling me!

As far as I was made convinced, nobody likes to call me, even remember me, including you. And as if I were a part of your life, you were calling me yesterday night, just before I was about fall asleep. May be that was a hangover…or better say…the effect of constant reminiscence of you. Sorry, I shouldn’t disturb you. But what do you do when you know you can’t breathe without air…better be smothered with the pillow once you rested on and smell…

Every aspect of my life has fallen out of your favor, then why these reminiscences in the odd hours?

When you took the flight, I wished to fly alongside you. When you land at your destination, I wished to receive you. Is it my fault to love you?

Believe it or not, I will be taking the toughest decision of my life by living alone, all life long. And if rumors are to be believed, you will be happy if I do so.

Did I ever hurt you?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Do you remember, I cry a lot!

Pasot,

No matter where you live, I can always smell what’s going on your mind. You never knew life’s wondrous tenets like loving and caring. You seem to pretend all life long without any reason. People pretend so that it serves a better purpose or two. But you pretend, knowing you can’t pretend and for no good. And its really bad make-up you wore!

OK, when it comes to you, I pay every little attention. Don’t know why? May be you are the one for me. What will you do if you know you are of little importance to someone’s life or will you think that it’s important to be important in someone’s life. May be you knew it all!

You think you have a past and I think we have a future. I wanted to agitate you so that you take precautions.

All the sweet words you have listened along the way are mere footnotes. And I am not able to understand that you buy those words knowing that they are not from my mouth.

Do you remember, I cry a lot!

You walk in the rain and I get wet!

Pasot,

This is for you.

Life is good. And it’s good example that we have set for ourselves…you going away far away from me and I am holding back to myself. You know I have faith in love and life. Life is nothing without love, it is meaningless without love. Interestingly, for some love has many faces…like the ones you have bought in the way, in the market, in the institutes you have attended. But unluckily for me…it has been stuck where it started: a face you carry, a believe you have me my life and the name I called ‘Pasot’. What else, you knew it all!

Anyway, I realise it’s bad to force someone to do something against his/ her own will. This has been happening all life long…I was made to do what I don’t want to do and you have been doing what you never wanted to do. Then what do we call these lives…
Pasot, don’t make yourself secretly bleed with hatred…it’s a strange world where you will find all that you have wished with little tricks, acceptable or not, nice or bad. But I would suggest, don’t do that. Be happy with what you have! The moment you start asking for more, it will, in contrary, ask for more from you.

I know, you always walk in the rain and I always get wet. I have no complain, whatsoever! I don’t repent either. But it reminds me … you were beautiful being yourself. Now what’s that you are becoming?

A truth!

The other day,
I was alone!

Problem with me is: I love despair. Everybody wants me to be happy, but I am not with them. Randomly, I choose moments of despair to relive them, because I know I love them. When people talks about optimism, I yelled about fate and when they calm me with their love and I asked for despondency.